I’ve written before about the rewards offered by the road and the contentment that comes from taking your music to different cities and far-off lands, but one fact cannot be ignored: when you’re on tour, people will annoy you (understatement). Unless you share the van with candycane toting pleasure minstrels whose sole reason for existing is to prop up your happiness through never-ending tire-pumping, then it’s an inescapable reality that you’ll need a couple tricks to make sure that your trip doesn’t end like Event Horizon. Here are 3 such tips for getting along on tour.

Photo of Sheeps Getting Along by Flickr User Paraflyer

Communicate

Daniel Klassen has written here before about the necessity of communication as it relates to your band’s goals and intentions, and this rings true whether you’re hitting the road for that quick Western Canadian swing or sailing the ocean to tower above all the crowds in that city in Japan that has the deer that live harmoniously with all the people. Metaphor? Yes. Talk about what you want to accomplish on this specific tour rather than proclaiming that ROCK COLOSSEUMS WILL BECOME OUR LIFE STADIUMS. Set realistic expectations, like how much money you want to make, how often you plan on setting up a tent on some sketchy dude’s lawn in Kamloops, or how you’re going to deal with that pesky driving situation. I’ve been in bands where no one could decide on where to eat, and everyone was too nice to take the lead, and it just melted into petty, unreasonable frustration. Just state your heart’s (and belly’s) desires, and understand that it’s a-ok to disagree, and people might just have to go their separate ways for a wee bit.

Go Your Separate Ways For a Wee Bit

Taking some time for yourself is an essential component to this list of essential components. While finding opportunities to be alone with your thoughts might seem too emo for some of you, uh, I mean us. Me. Right guys? Guys? Anyway, it’s important. Seriously, your mind needs solitude from the mobile apartment that you share for a month with four other dues and a girl, and they all require the same. Take a break, wander off, and take account of how the tour is going at that point and what your personal successes and areas of growth might be, and you’ll be amazed at how refreshed you’ll become. You might even realize that yeah, you wouldn’t mind listening to Every Time I Die for the 7th time that morning. I knew of a band that had a rule where one person got a day off every day; no loading in or haggling with venues, just some time to check out the city or to do whatever they desired. Sure, it might have made things a little tougher for the members on whom the remaining responsibility fell, but each individual was sure greatful when it became their turn to relax and tear up the town and get lost before the show and spend the night in jail. What?

Be Mindful of Others

No longer just the most important rule on that giant Everything I Learned in Kindergarten poster that hung in your sister’s bedroom, now a noble creed meant to stave off the desperate pull of intrinsic angst that tags along with everybody while they’re on tour. Above all else, try to pay attention to the moods of your bandmates. I believe that touring in a beat-up van with good friends is the ultimate team-builder, so contribute to the team rather than your own immediate desires. Delayed gratification becomes your mantra as you strive to place the comfort of others above your own. Here are 3 scenes which you are welcome, nay, encouraged to speak out on:

• The dash is not a appropriate place to dry your socks.
• No, I don’t want to smoke your second hand smoke all the way from Vancouver to Vernon.
• Non-volunteer punch-in-face is not a game I covet at the moment.

Alright, that last one probably didn’t happen that often, but you pick up what I’m puttin’ down. Sometimes rage takes over and people simply cannot handle being in close proximity with anyone. Your awareness will go a long way, especially if you step up and offer your help. Be careful though, this can backfire:

• Thanks for that free haircut, but can you wake me up first next time?
• You thought what would increase fuel efficiency?
• In Soviet Russia, van drives you!

If you’re willing to move gear so someone can skip soundcheck and grab a nap, everyone will be happier in the long run. If you work hard and contribute to loading up the van right after a show, then you and your friends can relax afterward. Small details make a big difference. Be that difference, son.

Some of this may seem like common sense, and I’m certainly not free of blame when it comes to flying off the handle for no good reason. For example, all of my ex-bandmates might tell you that I love to pack the van, an accusation to which I respond with a glaring NAY. Not true. My OCD loves to pack the van, which is a totally different monster. Still, eventually they became mindful enough to permit me to satisfy the tiny tetris nazi that lives in my brain by assembling the instruments, hardware, cabs and merch in such a specific manner that Houdini himself wouldn’t be able to solve the puzzle. And in return for their gracious offering of van-loading, I let them sleep in that time we were all slumbering in the van and I woke up before everyone and got scared of that huge dog that was looking at me and just drove to the next town before anyone woke up and realized that they slept for three effing hours while their luxury pleasure craft whisked them away to Nokomis without as much as a sharp turn or pothole that may have disturbed their well-earned respite.

Anyone else have any tips to prevent Event Horizon on tour?